Practiced House Exiting

Having a routine in place especially benefits dogs and puppies before they have a negative association with our leaving begins with establishing a low stress ‘goodbye’ protocol for leaving our dogs home when they can’t come with us.

Dogs Don’t Speak/understand Complex Language

When we leave, dogs have no way to know how long we’ll be gone, or if we’re returning home at all. Ideally, our exits become teaching moments for our dogs so they are learning from experiencing.

This protocol works for our dog :

• Feel safe, secure and relaxed in our absence

• See our return as a happy reunion. Our continuing to return home helps our dogs learn that events are predictable. I perceive this as them learning to trust

• Separate, mentally and emotionally, before we exit. This happens by degree and begins almost immediately

For exiting rituals I like to have the least amount of chatter from us we can manage. If your dog is used to you talking to them then keep talking! You can customize this however you think it will work better for you.

• I want this to be clean and efficient. My affect is almost neutral, and if we are stressed our voices can communicate stress.

• If our language is not a contingency of this ritual it is easily transferable to pet sitters, friends and family.

Substitution Activities

A logical choice is a food based enrichment toy. The food used can be customized for the dog's health and palate and the ritual is not contingent on any person as it becomes ‘just what everyone does when a human is leaving, so pet sitters can replicate the ritual.

My goal is for this routine/ritual to serve a minimum of three purposes:

1. Alleviate the dog becoming anxious when they anticipate their human preparing to leave.

2. Provide the dog with a desirable activity that becomes more anticipated over time. This way they are choosing to leave disconnect from their person and go to a location where they ‘belong’.

3. Present the dog with two activities which both promote repetition and relaxation.

Westpaw’s Tux and Quzl are excellent for this practice.

West Paw Tux

West Paw Quizi

Each of these toys promote the dog lying down with a paw on the toy while they work the food out of it. It’s a solitary and satiating activity. Plus, I have a super enhancing technique to do with the toys that increases the ‘chill value’ as well as the ‘Yay’ value for almost every dog.

Before you begin

• Your dog

  • Needs for attention, activity and potty have been met.

  • Dog is emotionally contented or neutral.

• For you

  • Set up a Go-Bag. Have the things you will need when you walk out the door together and ready for you to pick up and go with. Clattering keys or running around looking for your phone add environmental cues to your dog that may dilute the practice. This kind of thing will come later because we all do it but try, in the beginning, to minimize noise and frantic searching for objects.

Preparation of food toy

I like for this to be collaborative with the person putting the food on and in the toy while the dog is observing. This gives me the opportunity to toss some morsels to the dog for behaviors displaying the dog being able to resist random forward motion or jumping directed at me or the counter.

Crate or Confine

If you are crating your dog then the treasure is given to them when they are in the crate. If you put that in first there is an element of ‘luring them in’ which gives them a point of refusal. We want them to be happy and willing participants in this ritual so the cleaner the process works the better it works long term

The ‘avoid the lure’ rule applies if you are confining your dog to a room or if you are leaving them with access to a larger area or the whole house. When leaving them in an area where they have more options I find it works best to have a bed or area where the treasure is always given to them. This helps them know where to go when you have finished preparing the treasure and it helps them ‘stay where they are’ once they have it.

I’ve learned that goodbyes are easier when they do not take place at the doorway.

Exit

This is the almost anticlimactic part of the practice!

Leaving has two steps when after the dog is crated/confined

• I walk away from the crate/confinement area to pick up my bag/coat/keys

• I have an exit phrase that I say to them as I’m leaving.

  • For my dogs it’s ‘I’m going to the office’

  • For other people’s dogs it’s ‘I see you later’

What it looks like in practice

This is a clip with all of the steps, aside from assessment and me putting my ‘Go Bag’ together. She and I have been doing this for over a year so she is very practiced at all the steps she is responsible for performing.

House Exit Ritual

Bear in Mind

One caveat is that when we are establishing this for our dogs we’re also learning from them as we are open to signs of stress or any sign that they may be anticipating your exit in a way that is upsetting to them. One way we can proof ourselves against ‘breaking’ the happy vibes of the goodbye is to give ourselves ample time to make the food toy and to give ourselves an extra few minutes in case we leave our keys in the house and have to run in and back out. Not upsetting them by assuming they are fine, especially in the beginning, gives us so much more freedom as they become comfortable with us leaving.

As with many tasks and transitions introduced to our dogs, we succeed by attending to detail in the presentation. Initially, we are conveying a message of safety. Over time, our dogs should be less apt to experience panic when we have left them.